Getting it done
A long gestating project is finally taking shape this summer. I’ve never been a fan of musical theatre yet this project is a musical! I’m not writing the music - the songs are already written. I’m writing the book inspired by those songs and the realization that the tunes married perfectly with a half-written film script that I had tooled around with and then abandoned years earlier. I’m so inspired and proud. I’m gathering voice notes, longhand scribblings, random thoughts I contributed to my notes app - the ideas, dialogue and character studies are everywhere.
About 10 days ago, all this good energy dissolved into a flood of tears that could fill the Grand Canal in Dublin, the place where most of the sad memories that inspired some of the story I’m writing took place. For ten days I’ve been reliving a relationship that broke me for years. That was until I was willing to mend myself and get on with life.
So many of the words I never chose to say to the other person are appearing on the page as pivotal dialogue for my two main characters. I edit and edit until I feel they perfectly represent my feelings then and now, as well as a universality of the human experience of the pain that romantic love often brings.
During this period, the cosmos are apparently opening some portal that multiple Instagram astrologers are telling me in unison will bring a significant ex back into my life. The timing was too delicious for me not to bite, and so I did. I truly believed he would send me a Whatsapp message out of the blue or an email or some sort of communication to let me know I’ve been on his mind, as he has been on mine.
As anyone who may read this can guess, no messages have arrived, and I know they’re never coming. This guy never showed up for me in any significant way. Who am I kidding? He never showed up for me in any insignificant way either!
It’s all just fuel for the fire that burns in my gut to finish the story. It’s inspiration to write sharp, smart, full articulate characters whose shared joy and pain will resonate with the audiences I hope they will one day enthrall.
I could not control the outcome of the long lost relationship because I couldn’t (and didn’t want to) control him. But what is in my control is getting the work done. I am writing it now with consistency and dedication because I am showing up for me.